Short Selling Strategist T-Shirts

National Academy of Short Selling.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'How about a game of cards?'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'Superstock'

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

'I love the name. Now that we've gone public, what do you think we ought to do?'