Sale Strategist T-Shirts

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

'And remember, no layaways, personal checks or terrorizing the villagers.'

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Gerald Ratner's return

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Entertainment systems

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.