Sales Strategist T-Shirts

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Rex and Rusty simply didn't understand that no matter how snappy their sales presentation was, it would always look like a dog and pony show.

'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics."

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'Before we examine the company's last quarter, let me remind you 25$ can go a long way...'

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

Sinking sales

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

'Great ad! Just add 'Hurry while supplies last'.'

Sweet Smell of Success $10.

Bad news airbag

"I'm looking for one highly competitve sales representative"

Some sales people will do anything to clinch a deal.

'It's an exciting new synthesis of the classical sales approach and the miracle of direct mail.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

Yo-Yo Sales

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

Sales

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'Ok, so none of those applicants were right, but we got to hire someone for sales.'

'And this is when we started printing 'Now With Bacon' on the boxes.'

'You'd be perfect to pioneer new sales markets.'

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

Bug Control LTD Sales.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Okay.. so who's the wise guy?