Sales Strategist Pillows

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Rex and Rusty simply didn't understand that no matter how snappy their sales presentation was, it would always look like a dog and pony show.

'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

"As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics."

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

Sinking sales

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'Great ad! Just add 'Hurry while supplies last'.'

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"I'm looking for one highly competitve sales representative"

Bad news airbag

Sweet Smell of Success $10.

Some sales people will do anything to clinch a deal.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'It's an exciting new synthesis of the classical sales approach and the miracle of direct mail.'

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

'Ok, so none of those applicants were right, but we got to hire someone for sales.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'You'd be perfect to pioneer new sales markets.'

Sales

'And this is when we started printing 'Now With Bacon' on the boxes.'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'Of course our competitors have an unfair advantage - their product actually works.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Okay.. so who's the wise guy?

"Waiting for some customers to call?"

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'