House Selling Strategist T-Shirts

The Movers Strip - Coffee table reading

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Water is discovered on the moon....

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'It's a dump, but it's a steal at this price.'

Harris Realty We Make House Calls

"I think they're trying to tell us we've stayed to long."

National Academy of Short Selling.

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

'Location, location, location.'

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

"Does he respond better to a confident approach or a groveling approach?"

Chess cleaner

Real estate salesman.

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

'Empty-nesters. They're hoping to sell before the flock tries to move back in.'

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

'Is this the open house?'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

'And remember, no layaways, personal checks or terrorizing the villagers.'

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

I sold my house and my landlord's furious!