Home Buying Strategist T-Shirts

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Water is discovered on the moon....

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, I'm home.'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

House hunting is cruel.

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'They're playing house.'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'This is close enough.'

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

'Ready?!'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."