House Sharing Strategist T-Shirts

"And FYI, Iggy has night terrors."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

'Oh him? That's Frank. My parents made me take in a boarder to cover the cost of my car insurance.'

The Movers Strip - Coffee table reading

Chess cleaner

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

'Empty-nesters. They're hoping to sell before the flock tries to move back in.'

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

The runway.

"Ooooh, she's tall! Good! Come in! I'll put away the flame thrower."

'My spring cleaning got spring fever.'

'What would you like done with your DNA?'

The Movers Strip - Loft living

"Hope you don't need the bathroom. His showers take forever."

'Good point. It's been on the market far too long. I'll change the picture. I shouldn't be smiling.'

Workaholic's note to his wife

'I shall be using my conversation during dinner to announce that I shall be mounting a challenge to your supremacy in the home.'

Next, I remember looking down at my body, and my kids fighting over the will.

The Boarding-House

"Hello? I'm calling for a 'change-of-address'...."

"Relax. I'm checking for a wire."

"Since he left work I like to keep him busy around the house!"

"Every stupid time I grease the stairs he figures it out."

"She's a good housekeeper, divorced 3 times and kept the house every time!"