Shofar Blaster Gifts

"Well this blows"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

The Lancet and Boils and Boilmen.

'I wish somebody would say something.'

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

Graffiti like

'You want to report your wife missing?Wouldn't we all, sir-wouldn't we all!!'

"You must be the demolition team."

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

"That's just sick."

"I know - let's make a programme about people's complaints about our bloody awful programmes...!!"

Rosh Hashanah used to be a confusing time for the hearing impaired.

Mosquito Fumigation

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

'Well, that IS the drawback of musical instruments - they make noise.'

"I heard Ralphie blows out his car speakers every three weeks."

'Oh, sorry Dad!'

A hunter shoots a drone

Illegal immigration...crossing the border.

'Yeah, sure, a 'family outing'! I'm telling you, it's that time of year and he's eyeing my horns!'

'I hate this bunker.'

'I understand you rented a limo to get here...'

'That's just sick!'

'All I can say is, if you like to try new wines and you hate to have money in your wallet, that's the perfect choice.'

Man naps during eye test.

Shopper uses mushrooms as earmuffs around cell phone talker.