Speaker Blaster Gifts

"I heard Ralphie blows out his car speakers every three weeks."

They hated me.

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'And in conclusion.'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

The Lancet and Boils and Boilmen.

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

Geography is still fascinating, thought Bob.

"You must be the demolition team."

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

'You want to report your wife missing?Wouldn't we all, sir-wouldn't we all!!'

Graffiti like

I don't know how many times I've told Mahovlich - he's the speaker, not the goalie!

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"It won't go any louder.My dad super glued the volume knob on number two."

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

'It's called the Sub-Woofer 1200EX. It's designed specifically for the 16-24 year old driver.'

Check the products and prices.

"So, let me get this straight... When you told me you could manage a hundred and twenty words per minute, you thought I meant how many words you could speak?..."

"What a pleasure it is to be here. . . looking out on all the smiling faces."

House leadership 'cry'-teria

"I know - let's make a programme about people's complaints about our bloody awful programmes...!!"

I speak for all MPs, Mr Speaker, when I say 'swift recovery from your laryngitis'.