Shoe Store Manager T-Shirts

'And this style comes with a complimentary podiatrist appointment.'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"Would you like to try them out?"

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

SupermarketAwful Market.

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

Self-Checkout.

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

We stock ALL sizes...

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Brick and Mortar

How much would you take off for cash?

The Pied Piper in a computer shop.