Shoe Store Assistant T-Shirts

'Did I mention catskin is also self-cleaning?'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"This is daring, but I like it."

Mister Pretty Shoes

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"Would you like to try them out?"

Penguin suit fitting.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

How would Madam like to pay?

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

We stock ALL sizes...

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

'For us, buying shoes is like buying one drink with two straws, hahaha!'

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Sold It All.

All Major Cash Honored.

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

'Or if that's too expensive, why don't you bring yours in for a nice paint job?'

'She's O.K. Thanks all the same... She's just 'shopped 'till she's dropped!''