Shoe Store Manager Gifts

'And this style comes with a complimentary podiatrist appointment.'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"Would you like to try them out?"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Self-Checkout.

We stock ALL sizes...

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

The Pied Piper in a computer shop.