Sports Store Manager Gifts

'It's the new goal keepers kit!'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

The MBA Draft

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Go team!

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

The Hockey World

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"