Sports Store Clerk Gifts

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Would you like to try them out?"

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

University Book Store.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'For us, buying shoes is like buying one drink with two straws, hahaha!'

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

How much would you take off for cash?

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted