Shoe Skeptic T-Shirts

"She's not the perfect wife, but at least she's not always buying shoes."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"I stand corrected."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

Social distance queue starts here

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

'They're pinching my toes!'

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'A girl can never have too many shoes.'

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"You just poke some twigs into some bark, and voila!"

'Seventy three percent of statistics are made up on the spot.'

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

'Bud's body is in a pretty good shape; it's his mind that needs work.'

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'