Shock Value Hunter T-Shirts

Beach con-man.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Will work for ETFs

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

SALE

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Countervailing Clichés.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"How soon will this be a remnant

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"I just..."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."