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Stun-gun target practice.

Input From The Front Office

I love Basketball.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

American Football.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

ISIS needle in a haystack.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

'You're probably just trying to get our attention, son, and believe me, you've succeeded in a big,big way.'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -

'That was some hit!'

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

Coiled snake.'Act calm,relax,take a deep breath and reach for your knife slowly.'

"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"

'Focus on the kick, and forget about all the seven-foot tall kick blockers they have.'

"I periodically remove your names to emphasize the team concept, but now I'm just hoping to buy some time for those of you with arrest warrants."

"Sharpen my teeth! I'm a linebacker!"

Boy finds a real foot in his Christmas stocking.

'I don't suppose he's congratulating him on his performance.'

'Go out and win one to maintain your current lifestyles.'

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"

"It's my new Taser app, Dave. What do you think?"

"It's a game of power, speed, agility, and grace, but, most of all, Tom, it's a game of points."

'It's a special technique called cheating.'