Shmoozing Expert T-Shirts

'Clown-noser.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Call me?"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"The etchings are in the library."

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

"He hasn't got much chance with her. She just told me to get lost, and I'm her husband!"

"Here's a guy who has women falling over him."

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Kissing.

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'Easy Chair.'

Jerry realized he had been flirting with Gina's wrong end for the past hour.

'Are they your come to bed eyes or put the rubbish bin out eyes?'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'Excuse me beautiful lady, I think you've dropped something... my heart!'

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

"She's a great networker. One drink and she's on schmooze control."

Social butterfly

"Apparently the way to a man's heart is through his six pack."

'I wouldn't say he walks the walk, but he does crawl the crawl.'

'I must admit, I'm not a perfect fool!'

"I've given up on trying to improve the quality of my milk: It just ends up mixed with milk from other cows in a big vat..."

'I know this may not be the best time, but has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?'

"Is that you or the beer talking?"

"Don't get your hopes up, honey. I call everybody 'honey.'"