Smooch Specialist T-Shirts

'HEY,no Tongue!'

"Call me?"

Barman In Love.

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Eres la chica mas linda del mundo."

Car Dentistry.

"The etchings are in the library."

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

'Another martini please.'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

Parenting is... watching them sleep.

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

"He hasn't got much chance with her. She just told me to get lost, and I'm her husband!"

Savoy Dental Salon

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Kissing.

"Here's a guy who has women falling over him."

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

"Please point out the problem tooth."

Red wine teeth

'Easy Chair.'

Social butterfly

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'Clown-noser.'

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

Jerry realized he had been flirting with Gina's wrong end for the past hour.

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

'Are they your come to bed eyes or put the rubbish bin out eyes?'

'Excuse me beautiful lady, I think you've dropped something... my heart!'

He who laughs, lasts.

'I must admit, I'm not a perfect fool!'