Smooch Specialist T-Shirts

'HEY,no Tongue!'

"Call me?"

Barman In Love.

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Eres la chica mas linda del mundo."

Car Dentistry.

"The etchings are in the library."

"I'd like to be the cream in your coffee."

'Another martini please.'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

"Here's a guy who has women falling over him."

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

"He hasn't got much chance with her. She just told me to get lost, and I'm her husband!"

Parenting is... watching them sleep.

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

Savoy Dental Salon

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

Kissing.

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Red wine teeth

'Are they your come to bed eyes or put the rubbish bin out eyes?'

Social butterfly

'Excuse me beautiful lady, I think you've dropped something... my heart!'

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

Jerry realized he had been flirting with Gina's wrong end for the past hour.

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

'Easy Chair.'

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

'Clown-noser.'

He who laughs, lasts.