Intimacy Expert T-Shirts

Sauvignon Bonk

Couple cuddle under a sprinkler with an umbrella as an excuse to be close

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'You've changed since we got married.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

Global Positioning Manual

"Arouse Me!"

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Henry, cut that out.'

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"The etchings are in the library."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"Just tell us who's winning."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'You were hot in bed last night.' 'I know, I should have taken my socks off.'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."