Shelter Superhero Gifts

"Foster failure"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

North Pole

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'It's looking good this time: I've been here for six months and the kids haven't lost interest in me as yet...'

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

Thinking "Inside the Box."

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Days without an incident.

'Very nice, but is there room to swing a cat?'

Early House Hunting.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

'I'm just so worried about mercury in the water and sulfur dioxide in the air.'

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

IPCC Climate Report

Walking the Oil Plank.

"Trust me — we’re better off in here."

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

"Why did I come in here?"

'We had a fireman come to class today. Do you know what to do if you're ever caught in a burning building? Just stop, drop and roll...'