Self-made Superhero Gifts

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

North Pole

The Family Joules: Part 16

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"I've been genetically modified!"

Cow of BEEF

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

Inaction Figure

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

"I know your previous employer gave you an excellent reference, but you were self-employed."

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"How are we on bread?"

The Authentic Christmas.

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

Even Superheroes Are Always On Their Phones

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

"Okay...so I could have been wrong about a few facts..."

"Aquaman, it's great that you have these aquatic powers, but I wish you also didn't sh*t like a fish."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Superman's laundry

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

Gullboy and Pigeonman

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"Now that I'm getting older it takes more than a single bound to leap a tall building."

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'I know you needed a career change, Dear, but we were doing so much better when you were an accountant!'

"I've simplified our work process!"