Shell-shocked Meditator Gifts

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

Chiller Theatre

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"You've been served."

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

Wisdom for dummies

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Oh, like you've never had a rap song stuck in your head.

I've been so stressed, I'm getting back into yoga. Good idea! We all need peaceful time to center and renew the soul. Go for it! I would, but � My workout duds are totally last year. We have catalogs for that.

A middle aged cow.

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

"My master has built himself a "Zen Garden"! Now, I'm the one who's stressed as I'm not allowed in the garden anymore..."

"I've been meditating as hard as I can and nothing happens."

'Oi! Mind where you're going!'

'Pardon the mess. We just moved in.'

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

Now there's way over a billion of us. What does confucius say about that?

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

'We may be good eggs, but we're not perfect. We all have a fallen nature.'

'... Yes, most people are surprised when I show them the real meaning of life.'

Yoga studio: In 234 and Out 234.

Dude Ranch. Activities Schedule. They have meditation classes! "Om" on the range!

Trans-continental Meditation. 'Are we there yet?'

Musician's Note To Self.

Existence 2.0

'It's very noticeable when I'm down wind from you. There's something dead inside, you should see a specialist.'

'If you were a human being, what kind of human being would you be?'