Shell Contemplator Gifts

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"Shall we put it in play?"

Differing thoughts of male and female.

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'I just can't keep up with the conversations in deep space.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Caterpillar Paranoia

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

Apocalipsis

"Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise."

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I bark, therefore I am."

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

Meditation for dogs

"I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets."

"Pay no attention. It's his way of telling us he needs a lot of space."

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'Attaining harmony with the universe is a gradual process. You need to start with a cease-fire.'

Descartes' Cat - I meow, therefore I am.