Sheepish Sleeper Gifts

Sheep trying to go to sleep.

Night-time halo

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

Dolly, Twenty Years Later

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

"EWE-BUR" "SHEAR-X"

"My parents hate it."

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

How Sheep Sleep

'This is one way to 'round-'em-up!'

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

Sheep of the 1970's

'I told you not to follow so closely'

Em-Eews: Emus and Ewes in the form of each other.

Mother's day

'At this age, they can't really be coached. It's more like you herd them in one direction and hope the ball goes into the goal.'

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

Welcome to the Lake District.