Sheepish Gigglers Pillows

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Get on with it!

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Fancy a pint?

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

The First Supper

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

Ghost Playing Cello

'It's a quarter-to-three and there's no one in the place except ewe and me.'

Boo-gle.

"Ow. That's the second time you've stepped on my foot."

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

A filing cabinet of taxes lands on the American Gothic couple.

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

'What did it mean, 'til death do us part?''