Gibberish Gigglers Pillows

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

The First Supper

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

Ghost Playing Cello

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

'Serving pyranose from his buskin left some paly.'

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

'The blasty libeccio fleyed the keitloa.'

'It's one of your five a day.'

Teenager ghost tantrums - "I hate you! I wish I was alive!"

'What did it mean, 'til death do us part?''

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

Tombstones have names of vegetables on them.

"It's downward dog. . . says his back is killing him."

"You're just in time. We're having vegetarian chili tonight."