Grim Gigglers Pillows

'A Mr Reaper from Garden Maintenance to see you, sir.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

'Dicing with Death'

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

Ghost Playing Cello

Dead & Breakfast.

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

'Do you have any experience in wrongful-death cases?'

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

Teenager ghost tantrums - "I hate you! I wish I was alive!"

'What did it mean, 'til death do us part?''

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

"Whew, that was rank. I didn't want that baby trapped in this suit. I might have died!"

"Next time, don't let your anxieties build up ... "

'It's one of your five a day.'