Grim Gigglers Pillows

'A Mr Reaper from Garden Maintenance to see you, sir.'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Not you. Your hair.

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Pest control, with death.

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

'Dicing with Death'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

Ghost Playing Cello

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

Dead & Breakfast.

Boo-gle.

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

'Do you have any experience in wrongful-death cases?'

'It's one of your five a day.'

Teenager ghost tantrums - "I hate you! I wish I was alive!"

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

"Whew, that was rank. I didn't want that baby trapped in this suit. I might have died!"

'What did it mean, 'til death do us part?''