Sheepdog Trials Gifts

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

I love Lawyers

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He started it!'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Two lawyers in a royal court

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'I'm worried since he was chosen jury foreman.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'I'll have to skip lunch. If I don't have 3 bags full on the boss's desk by 5:00...:

'Well, son, the justice system depends on finding 12 people who are smart and impartial enough to judge the accused intelligently without malice or favor.'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."