Share Specialist Gifts

'That's the trouble with these Chinese stocks -- an hour later you want to invest again.'

The day the stock market went UP.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Drool Marks

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

Medical Examinations.

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

'My final offer.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Proctologists' Office Party Games

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

Trust Your Doctor

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

Niche Marketing

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"We are now required to tell you to fasten your seatbelt for the following Stock Market report...."

Before The Merger.

"We have no golden parachutes."