Shampoo Sampler Pillows

Midlife Madness

Shampoo.

Try to guess the continent dining...

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Sauce for the Goose

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Diet considerations.'

Sinking Sand

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'Anyone else seeing a pattern here?'

NEW FALL LINEUP

Wash and Go...to hell...

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"I'm so sorry darling: the shop was out of anti-dandruff shampoo..."

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

'I'm part of a double-blind study to see how weight loss supplements help people lose weight. I'm guessing I received the sugar pill placebos.'

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

'On that Noah thing, just rinse and repeat as necessary.'

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

"That shampoo was delicious!"

'Waiter! This broth tastes spoiled!'

'Smoked salmon and cream cheese. What's in yours?'

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"The doctor needs a spice sample."

'I'm not happy with my 'honey and lilac' shampoo.'

When Mrs Murray said you should vary your diet I don't think she meant to just try all 16 flavours of POT NOODLES.

Holistic Alcohol Consumption

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

"Wow! I can feel it tingle so it must be getting rid of my dandruff!"

"SHEESH. What will it be like when I'm eighty?!"