Shampoo Sipper Pillows

"That shampoo was delicious!"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Shampoo.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

A very fine vintage

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"'60 Minutes' is on."

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"I'm so sorry darling: the shop was out of anti-dandruff shampoo..."

"You need a hobby."

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

Wash and Go...to hell...

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

"Transitioning from home to office again is more difficult for some than others."

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"