Shampoo Sipper Pillows

"That shampoo was delicious!"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Shampoo.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

A very fine vintage

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

"'60 Minutes' is on."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. I'll have the beef and tomato consomme from Santiago. Coming up one chilly Chile Chili!

"You need a hobby."

Wash and Go...to hell...

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"I'm so sorry darling: the shop was out of anti-dandruff shampoo..."

"Transitioning from home to office again is more difficult for some than others."

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

'As a gastroenterologist, what would you take for this soup?'