Shakespearean Humorist Pillows

Juliet Capulet - "You can send in Romeo now Janice."

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

"So that's a one-eyed newt a toe-less frog a bald bat and a no tongued dog!" (Macbeth witch at the vets).

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Modern Major General

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Schrodinger's Black Box

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Drummer

'Hard to follow...'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Berta screams out!

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Magic Act

Nanki Poo

Ham-Dram

Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

Barber of Seville

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him-yet somehow I did not realize that he was a cow."

Angry Doctor Bartolo

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"

Peter

"Somebody tell me...what's my motivation?"

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

'I think it's over.'

The British Hamlet ('Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ...I say 'knew', more of an acquaintance really ...')

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Devil Puppeteer