Shakespearean Humor Pillows

2 Gentlemen from Verona

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'One eye of newt or two?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Zenemies.

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

Trump

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Hard to follow...'

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

"If music is the food of love... I'm full."

"Play on."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Edmund Kean Supporting Drury Lane

'To woof or not to woof...'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Queen Hermione - Queen Victoria Urged To Stop Mourning and Return to Public Life

Ham-Dram

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

Human meat.

Mulvaney's Soliloquy

Ariel (Ireland) asking Prospero (Gladstone) for her freedom

'To be, or not to be? I'm, like, WHATEVER ...'

"To invest or not to invest. That is the question."

Hell's Schlegel

'If we're to be able to afford a cutting edge IT system then we have to make sacrifices...and you're ours.'

Horatio T. Osborn, born 1787, died 1852, greatness thrust upon him 1825.

'Do you have to do that every time?'