Shady Character Aficionado Gifts

Unscrupulous dealers may try to cover up quite serious faults.

Silence of the Chickens...

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

My Spam Sketchbook

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

'There's more to me than my books, you know.'

The Missing Bell

A mad scientist.

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

Shy Man at Party

The Neighbours from Hell....

The Doomed Character

"Wait a second - you're not the Invisible Man. You're just three invisible kids in a trench coat."

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

'I'm actually Farnsworth Huddleson the fifth. The first was an obscure character in a Dickens novel.'

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

'Not only the slot in the back is considered offensive to my people. It's that, given the times, we don't want to be associated with your line of business.'

'My mad scientist doesn't understand me!'

Hadleyville Has-Beens

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

"Nobody wants to hang out with Bedbug Man."

"I don’t talk to Christopher Robin anymore but I will consider a reunion special."

"Bond – James bond."

"What can I say? God made me this way!"

I make the aquaintance of Miss Mowcher

And that's why I'm still single!

'I told you this would happen if you kept leaving your clothes on the floor.'

What happens in vagueness stays in vagueness.

"Low ones first...then we'll have you back on the high ones in now time..."

"Is it too late for me to go back to the old ladies bike basket?"

Mr Chuckster Old Curiosity Shop

'I didn't invent fire, but I like to think I've perfected playing with it.'

"You remember the ex-husband in chapter one who caused her to reassess her whole life and seek a spiritual awakening? That was me."