Shabbat Pillows

'Every Friday I tell you not to eat so much, but do you ever listen?'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"I'm sure this Shabbos meal is delicious but how can I taste it if I can't take a photo and post it instantly online?"

"I know it's a mitzvah to taste the Shabbos food, but you're supposed to actually leave some for Shabbos!"

"Wow kids! You made challahs! Great job!"

The Life Cycle of Cholent

Working Holiday

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I need to know who started it."

A surprise in heaven

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'Please take your receipt!'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

"I'm taking some time off to get away from the stress. See you in ten years."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

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