Sabbath Scholar Pillows

Boy playing and sundayschool teacher

The Sunday Question - The Public House

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"I've got writer's block."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"You call this a constitution?"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

The World's Biggest Book Club

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"