Sunday School Scholar Pillows

''Twelve Apostles'? - You mean Jesus had a FOCUS GROUP?'

"Coffee is to contemporary Christians as wine was to those in the Bible."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'Well, yes, Jennifer -- I suppose Samson WAS sort of like Wolverine.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'