Sunday School Scholar Gifts

''Twelve Apostles'? - You mean Jesus had a FOCUS GROUP?'

"Coffee is to contemporary Christians as wine was to those in the Bible."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Early Piety

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off."

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.