Sex Ed Supporter Gifts

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

"That was some climax, Hon."

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

"You are here."

"Class, can anyone name a Hispanic hero who used non-violent methods to win better working conditions for farmers nationwide?"

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

The Joy of Sioux

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"Sorry, kiddo. Your old man has to work so you can go to the best drug trials in the country>"

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

Tele Condom

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

"... and that this ham we're eating has enough sodium to give us high blood pressure. That's what I learned in school today."