Sewing Maestro Gifts

"Warning! A small craft advisory has been issued! Tia Carmen just got back from the hobby store."

I quilt therefore I am

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Sew on a sequin!

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

"We can't agree on a size."

Pollsters

Zorro, The Embroiderer

A woman repairs a broken heart.

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

Wallpaper Music

"Have they decided not to have M-day."

'I play heavy metal.'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

Ice Sculpting Class.

'You need a new bobbin.'

Sewing A Christmas Dress.

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

Bias Tape

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.