Sewing Maestro Gifts

"Warning! A small craft advisory has been issued! Tia Carmen just got back from the hobby store."

I quilt therefore I am

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Sew on a sequin!

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

"We can't agree on a size."

Pollsters

Zorro, The Embroiderer

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

A woman repairs a broken heart.

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Ice Sculpting Class.

"Have they decided not to have M-day."

'I play heavy metal.'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

Wallpaper Music

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

"You still working on your car?"

'You need a new bobbin.'

I don't get it. She's so much cuter than him.

Sewing A Christmas Dress.

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

Bias Tape