Session Organizer Gifts

"Now remember, it's not a cocktail party, it's an overlapping dialogue workshop!"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Face painting by numbers.

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

Unanimous voting.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Conference Pears

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'And in conclusion.'

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Extra Long-jump

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.