Service Industry Scholar Pillows

'First, let me tell you what i don't want.' Most cases of food poisoning can be avoided by being a little nicer to the waiter.

"This is our soft opening."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

Too rare perhaps?

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'