Service Industry Scholar Pillows

'First, let me tell you what i don't want.' Most cases of food poisoning can be avoided by being a little nicer to the waiter.

"This is our soft opening."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

"Allow Me"

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

"I read that 40% of us have to take a second job just to make ends meet...It's a disgrace!"

Too rare perhaps?