Service Industry Seer Pillows

"Yes, I remember you. I recommend the house Merlot. It goes well with a bad tip."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

"Can you come by Table Seven? They have some edits for the chicken."

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'I never get tipped!'

'My name is Melanie, and I drew the short straw, so I'll be your waitress tonight.'

'First, let me tell you what i don't want.' Most cases of food poisoning can be avoided by being a little nicer to the waiter.