Service Industry Seer Pillows

"Yes, I remember you. I recommend the house Merlot. It goes well with a bad tip."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

Top four least favorite summer camps of 2008.

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

"Can you come by Table Seven? They have some edits for the chicken."

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

We're with the gutter cleaning service.

'I never get tipped!'

'First, let me tell you what i don't want.' Most cases of food poisoning can be avoided by being a little nicer to the waiter.

Waiters hate Simon Cowell...