Service Industry Strategist Pillows

"In the interests of fairness, I'm required to disclose that I'm comission driven."

"This is our soft opening."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'Darling - are you finding these waiters rather over-attentive?'

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

Top four least favorite summer camps of 2008.

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

"Allow Me"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

"Sorry we can no longer supply a free tick removal service."

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.