Service Industry Professional Pillows

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Desktops are off-limits. Anything on the floor is sweepers-keepers."

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

"A large Coke and an order of fries."

'While no one questions your abilities as a doorman, Cliff, we've decided to replace you with this wedge of wood.'

"Sorry we can no longer supply a free tick removal service."

Customer Disservice

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

Phone being served

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

'Your call is of limited interest to us. Please hold in the vain hope that you are next in the queue...'

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"Allow Me"

"I'm up to here in fun."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

A midwife and a waiter pass through a set of double doors.

"The Wi-Fi password is 'Don't call me sweetie.'"

"This is our soft opening."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'