Service Experiences Gifts

'Big tipper' gets a taxi before everybody else.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I don't like the looks of this ... '

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"More croutons, sir?"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."

Women

The Waiter

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"This is my son Simon he's here on work experience."

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

"I hope they offer same day service."

Please continue to hold, but feel free to switch hands.

We only go round once, but it can be quite the loop-de-loop! (Published originally on December 21, 2013.)

"Your call is important to us."

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."

'I never get tipped!'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'