Series Junkie Pillows

"He's a telly addict - we've got him on an eastenders drip."

"Did you see the final episode last night?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Dancing with the Star Wars

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"What would you like to watch again?"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

True Story Movie

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

I see he's still "working" from home.

America's funniest investment scams

'He's in training for the Olympics'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."