Serial Streamer Gifts

'I subscribe to HBO, Netflix & Hulu. . . but I am dropping you.'

'They're not out of town. They just watch entirely too much television.'

'It's the Nielsen people. They want to know what we are wasting our time watching.'

"I get 572,000 channels. I watch 4 of them."

Prisoner of television

"Jeanine, there's no one I'd rather binge-watch TV with in a desperate attempt to escape a world I find terrifying and perplexing than you."

"I think I need to diet. I have to binge watch just to look at all of me."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

Too much TV.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

TV-Man

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

'I know my bill's over due, but could you wait until all of last season's cliff hangers are resolved before shutting off my power?'

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

You finished Netflix

"They went together, doctor!"

"No, I'm really into this series. I am just not into you making a very poor attempt at copying their British accent every waking minute until we finish it."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bummer Time Streaming

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Dawing your Cellphone

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Binge Watch

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

The Procrastinatorium.

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

"Hello, I have this on my Spotify, so I'll be humming along."

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.