Serial Computer Kicker Pillows

"Nobody likes a know-it-all"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Ninja bread men"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

TV-Man

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Professional football.

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

The Procrastinatorium.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

Bummer Time Streaming

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

"Well, I'd say it should be fairly soon now!"

Football

You finished Netflix

High Kick

"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."

"They went together, doctor!"

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

"We've been avoiding it for way to long. We really need to have a face-to-face text."

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

'I just can't say for certain. They all look the same in those uniforms. ...All I know it that he said he kicks field goals for a living.'

'Billy loved to play with his computer'

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

"No, I'm really into this series. I am just not into you making a very poor attempt at copying their British accent every waking minute until we finish it."

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

"Jeanine, there's no one I'd rather binge-watch TV with in a desperate attempt to escape a world I find terrifying and perplexing than you."

"I think I need to diet. I have to binge watch just to look at all of me."

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."