Serial Computer Kicker Pillows

"Nobody likes a know-it-all"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Ninja bread men"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

TV-Man

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

Professional football.

The Procrastinatorium.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

Bummer Time Streaming

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

Football

You finished Netflix

"Well, I'd say it should be fairly soon now!"

High Kick

"We've been avoiding it for way to long. We really need to have a face-to-face text."

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

"They went together, doctor!"

"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."

'I just can't say for certain. They all look the same in those uniforms. ...All I know it that he said he kicks field goals for a living.'

'Billy loved to play with his computer'

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

"No, I'm really into this series. I am just not into you making a very poor attempt at copying their British accent every waking minute until we finish it."

"I think I need to diet. I have to binge watch just to look at all of me."

"Jeanine, there's no one I'd rather binge-watch TV with in a desperate attempt to escape a world I find terrifying and perplexing than you."

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

'I know my bill's over due, but could you wait until all of last season's cliff hangers are resolved before shutting off my power?'